Since the last time

since the last time i was here a change happened in my life. A terrible change.Both my parents died within 1 yr of each other.I should have known to stay with dad that day.His feet were swelled.He was in his wheel chair.We put him in bed. He was very tired.I remember saying we needed to elevate his legs but i don’t think we did. Mom called at 4:00 a.m. to tell us dad had died.
Now i wish i had stayed at mom’s longer that day. It wasn’t totally unexpected.He was dying.
Mom’s cancer reappeared unexpectedly. She was having stomach problems she didn’t mention. But some months later she was vomiting and i told her to go to the ER.I was afraid she would dehydrate.This was the beginning of finding out she had cancer again.
She had major surgery outside our town and then came back to the local hospital for a month of recuperation.She came home.She was doing very well. My brother came home for his summer visit. I left her house on Monday and she called that night. She wanted to know where her bandages were and i asked my brother to get them down for her.I should have checked on her;but i took for granted things were ok. Now i really do wish i had gone over. My brother called Tues morning at 11:15 which was unusual in itself-she almost always called.He said she had died.It was sudden cardiac arrest.She made it to dad’s chair in the living room.
i can’t sleep.i relive these 2 days many times.